A "Rich" Legacy

It's been 15 years since Rich Mullins passed away. I've been seeing it all over Facebook: tributes, old recordings, and such. This morning I played the 2 albums that I had on my iPod while I worked. I found myself questioning why I only had 2 albums on my iPod when I knew that I had more of his albums at home in my collection. (Yes, I still have an extensive CD collection. So sue me.) I realized that part of the reason was because I haven't listened to very much Rich Mullins since I got my iPod in 2007.

Why in the world would I not really listen to much Rich Mullins for 5 years? Good question. In reality, it has been more like 6 years. I hadn't even realized that I had done it until today. My ex-boyfriend was a huge fan of Rich Mullins [And "fan" is really an understatement] and when I broke off our almost 4-year long distance relationship in 2006, I apparently broke off my love for Rich Mullins music as well. It got me thinking; what else have I let go by the wayside since then? The best way I could think to describe it was like it was the opposite of Julia Roberts' character Maggie in "Runaway Bride." Maggie only ate the same kind of eggs as the man that she was with, never knowing what she actually liked because she was trying to be like him. I guess I felt like I couldn't like Rich anymore because that was his thing. The thing is that I liked Rich long before I even met him. I can't even count how many times I listened to "Hold Me, Jesus" in college. In fact, he entire "A Liturgy, A Legacy, & A Ragamuffin Band" album was in constant rotation in the room that Tracy Lee and I shared my freshman & sophomore year. I even worked at a Ragamuffins concert in the Spring of '99 in St. Louis with our CCM Seminar class. His music is such a part of my history. How could I leave that on the sidelines for 6 years?

I'm sitting here this evening listening to the "Jesus Demos" and wishing that I had never stopped listening to this man sing stories about our Lord. There are so many things to learn from the stories and the songs. Rich got it. He understood, at least in part, how this life was meant to be lived. He understood how to be a child of God and be ok with being a "child." I feel like I have to have it all together. I've lost that child-like wonder that brings me close to Him. I need to revisit the things that I've put on the sidelines. The books that I gave away, the music that has just been sitting up on the shelf. I'm not controlled by the past or the things that are in it. I am a child of God. I am loved by Him not because the things that I have or haven't done in the past, but because I was drawn to Him and put my faith in Him.

This is a really hard thing for me to write about. I don't like to talk about that part of my life. It seems like another lifetime ago. It is part of me, though, and the Lord brought me through it. I can't regret what happened. It is part of my story, like it or not. I am still His beloved child. I need to remember that. Maybe this is just what I needed.

"I will never doubt His promise though I doubt my heart - I doubt my eyes
My Deliverer is coming - My Deliverer is standing by"

~"My Deliverer" The Jesus Record (Rich Mullins/Mitch McVicker)

Inspiration Workshop {Week #6}: Pamper Yourself!

Linking up again with the Gussy Sews Inspiration Workshop this week! The prompt this week was "Pamper Yourself!" Normally when I think about pampering myself this is what I envision:



Or maybe the bathtub from last week's Inspiration Workshop. Pampering myself this last week was much simpler.

On Saturday I drove the long way to Ikea all by myself. I took the back roads through Plant City so that I didn't have to deal with the crazy people on the interstate. I listened to a podcast that I've been meaning to listen to (Laura Story on Midday Connection).

I treated myself to Swedish Meatballs, mashed potatoes and lingonberry jam at Ikea. I wandered around the showrooms, gathering tips and ideas for arranging things in our small space. I left only with the two things on the list and replacement bowls (for the ones that had the nasty fruit in them that I forgot about in the fridge. Oops.).

I drove home the same way listening to Laura Story, Melanie Penn, and Tara Leigh Cobble. It was lovely.

I miss the days when I would just take myself out for a drive and see where I would end up. I felt refreshed when I got back. So refreshed, in fact, that I took a nap when I got home. Because I could. It was a great day and I need to remember to take time to do it more often.

Will

Sweetest child of God
Countless prayers are lifted up
For safety and peace


Listening to: Andrew Peterson - "Faith To Be Strong"

Give us faith to be strong
Father, we are so weak
Our bodies are fragile and weary
As we stagger and stumble to walk where you lead
Give us faith to be strong

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us peace when we're torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there's much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we're torn

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it's hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith, faith to be strong

love, love isn't always love the way that we mean...

Do you ever have those days when you can't stop thinking about something, even though you know that you really shouldn't be thinking about it? I've been like that a few weeks now. It always happens with me. I go to a friend's wedding and for weeks after I keep thinking about what my wedding will be like or if I will ever get to have a wedding. This last time has been the most interesting. Last weekend I was listening to a new CD that I bought with one of my Christmas giftcards (it has been on my list of CDs to buy for a few months now!) and the last song came on and all of a sudden I had one of those strange moments where you can see yourself. I was dancing at my wedding. I've never had a song that I thought "Hey, I want them to play this at my wedding reception!" I've thought of songs for pretty much every part of the ceremony, but never for my first dance. It was actually quite humorous because I was driving to my parent's house in Orlando when I was listening to it and I put the song on repeat so that I could hear it again and I actually missed my exit to their house. I've driven that road MANY times, but apparently, I was so enthralled with the song that I drove right past it!

I should totally be in bed right now, but I heard the song again as I was driving home tonight and I just can't get it out of my head. In my head I'm waltzing (well, sort of waltzing...the song has a waltz rhythm.) with my faceless Mr. Darcy and for some reason I just needed to write about it. I've needed to write for a while, but I just haven't. This is as good a time as any, I suppose. So, that's where I am. Somewhere between reality and a song and a hope.

the rabbit room

I do believe that I've found a new "essential blog" for my list. The Rabbit Room, is a site set up by Andrew Peterson (who, as you all know, is one of my favorite songwriters) and has contributions from a number of different friends, who are equally as talented. Dialogue in community is so important and too often we don't discuss things of beauty, such as art, literature, and music. This is a quote from the home page of The Rabbit Room:

Our hope is that this Rabbit Room will likewise be a place for people who get the feeling that there's more truth and beauty around us than this world can contain. Windows on that truth and beauty are opened, sometimes quite by accident, by tale-spinners, world-makers, and bards.

Doesn't that make you want to read more? Good. Now go and do it!

(So I'm sassy. Deal with it.)

the love of God

I wasn't tired yet, so I haven't been able to even think about going to bed. Instead, I started looking through the things that I received from my grandmother after she passed away this spring. I was very blessed to get several of her hymnals and songbooks. My grandmother was a pianist and organist from her teens all the way up until a few years ago when the Parkinson's made it too difficult for her to play any longer. I was flipping through some of the books (VERY carefully, since they are quite old!) and looking for some of the "good old hymns" that I remember from when I was growing up. While I was looking through the last book, "Favorite Radio Hymns and Stories:, I came across one of my favorites, "The Love of God." I love the imagery in the song, especially the last verse. I've had the last verse posted on my myspace page for some time now. I was very surprised when I read the footnote at the bottom of the hymn. It reads,

*The last stanza of this song was penciled on the wall of a narrow room of an asylum by a man said to have been demented. The profound lines were discovered after his death.

I keep getting goosebumps.

I can't even fathom that. I'm going to let that simmer in my mind for now. And I'll leave you with the last verse to let it rattle in your heads as well:

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made;
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Tho' stretched from sky to sky.

coldplay, tea, and candles

Autumn Wreath and Cider candles lit. A cup of Apple Cinnamon tea. Listening to Coldplay's "Parachutes." A good end to the day, even I have been sick all week. If I close my eyes, it almost feels like October. The only albums that make me think of fall more would be Bebo Norman's "Try" and Damien Rice's "O". Good music. Good times. I know why those 2 make me think of fall, because I got them both about the same time in the fall of 2004, but I still don't know why Parachutes makes me think of it. I guess it's just mellow enough. And now as the CD is ending, it is time for me to sleep.

Letters to the Editor, Vol. 1

Ok, so I know that I don't have THAT many readers, but I wanted to share this with the ones that do read. One of my favorite Nashvillians, Andrew Osenga, has just released a new EP. It's available for download HERE. Here's the interesting part about said EP. The idea for it was thrown out to those of us in the blogosphere on May 23rd. He asked for stories, ideas, pictures, etc to be inspiration for the songs and artwork for the album. Then, and this is what I find to be the coolest idea ever, he asked for people to download the songs in their rough form and add "webground" vocals (a.k.a. background vocals sent via the web). And now, three weeks after the first mention, we have the finished product. And it's great. To top all that off, Andy had been getting calls and emails about the album, telling him what a great job his promoters are doing. Well, that's the funny part. He doesn't have promoters; he just has us, the crazy bloggers and fans that are spreading the love of music all around the internet. So, take a listen, send him a few bucks through paypal, support good music, give 2 little girls more time with their dad because he's not having to go out on the road.

the lark ascending...

It's Friday. I can't tell you how excited I am that it's Friday. So, I'm sitting at my desk, listening to the MusicMatch "Classical Mix" radio station (which I love, by the way) and this one piece comes on and I recognize it and I keep listening. Then, all of a sudden, I realize that it isn't sounding like it is sounding in my head. That's when I realized what piece it was. It was "The Lark Ascending", by Vaughn Williams and here I was waiting for the drums to come in, thinking that it was "Be Lifted" from David Crowder* Band's B Collision, which is also on my computer here at work! So, yeah, that made my morning. It's such a beautiful piece! And to top it off, Anne Akiko Myers (violinist) is going to be performing it with the Florida Orchestra in Tampa on Memorial Day Weekend. I really want to go! Good times, indeed. Happy Friday!

in Christ alone...

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear of death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

By Keith Getty, Stuart Townsend

This has been my song today. It's not as if it's a new song to me, but for some reason it stood out today.I was listening to WOW this morning as I got ready for work and all I know is that I had to bring the CD with me in the car and listened to it on the way to work because I needed to keep it fresh in me. The bolded lyric above is something that we've been talking about in Refuge (college ministry) on Sunday nights and then discussed tonight in our Discipleship By Grace group (a.k.a. The Dirty Dozen) It is such a powerful thought, an overwhelming thought, a beautiful thought. And to think that it was done out of pure love. Not manipulative, human love, but pure sinless love. We are truly blessed.

I'm off to Daytona with the college group tomorrow. Tomorrow starts my vacation!!!! I'm a free woman for a little over a week!!! Today was my last day at Hallmark and I start at Shelby, Medina, and Stargel on the 25th. Alright, I'm off to pack so that I can get everything done in the morning before I leave!!

Grace & Peace!