A "Rich" Legacy

It's been 15 years since Rich Mullins passed away. I've been seeing it all over Facebook: tributes, old recordings, and such. This morning I played the 2 albums that I had on my iPod while I worked. I found myself questioning why I only had 2 albums on my iPod when I knew that I had more of his albums at home in my collection. (Yes, I still have an extensive CD collection. So sue me.) I realized that part of the reason was because I haven't listened to very much Rich Mullins since I got my iPod in 2007.

Why in the world would I not really listen to much Rich Mullins for 5 years? Good question. In reality, it has been more like 6 years. I hadn't even realized that I had done it until today. My ex-boyfriend was a huge fan of Rich Mullins [And "fan" is really an understatement] and when I broke off our almost 4-year long distance relationship in 2006, I apparently broke off my love for Rich Mullins music as well. It got me thinking; what else have I let go by the wayside since then? The best way I could think to describe it was like it was the opposite of Julia Roberts' character Maggie in "Runaway Bride." Maggie only ate the same kind of eggs as the man that she was with, never knowing what she actually liked because she was trying to be like him. I guess I felt like I couldn't like Rich anymore because that was his thing. The thing is that I liked Rich long before I even met him. I can't even count how many times I listened to "Hold Me, Jesus" in college. In fact, he entire "A Liturgy, A Legacy, & A Ragamuffin Band" album was in constant rotation in the room that Tracy Lee and I shared my freshman & sophomore year. I even worked at a Ragamuffins concert in the Spring of '99 in St. Louis with our CCM Seminar class. His music is such a part of my history. How could I leave that on the sidelines for 6 years?

I'm sitting here this evening listening to the "Jesus Demos" and wishing that I had never stopped listening to this man sing stories about our Lord. There are so many things to learn from the stories and the songs. Rich got it. He understood, at least in part, how this life was meant to be lived. He understood how to be a child of God and be ok with being a "child." I feel like I have to have it all together. I've lost that child-like wonder that brings me close to Him. I need to revisit the things that I've put on the sidelines. The books that I gave away, the music that has just been sitting up on the shelf. I'm not controlled by the past or the things that are in it. I am a child of God. I am loved by Him not because the things that I have or haven't done in the past, but because I was drawn to Him and put my faith in Him.

This is a really hard thing for me to write about. I don't like to talk about that part of my life. It seems like another lifetime ago. It is part of me, though, and the Lord brought me through it. I can't regret what happened. It is part of my story, like it or not. I am still His beloved child. I need to remember that. Maybe this is just what I needed.

"I will never doubt His promise though I doubt my heart - I doubt my eyes
My Deliverer is coming - My Deliverer is standing by"

~"My Deliverer" The Jesus Record (Rich Mullins/Mitch McVicker)

the God who heals

(Women's Bible Study reflections based on the "Glory Questions": Meditating on God's Word to be Transformed from Glory to Glory)

Acts 3:1-10
Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the ninth hour, the hour of prayer. And a man who had been lame from his mother's womb was being carried along, whom they used to set down every day at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, in order to beg alms of those who were entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he began asking to receive alms. But Peter, along with John, fixed his gaze on him and said, "Look at us!" And he began to give them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, "I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene--walk!" And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened. With a leap he stood upright and began to walk; and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. And all the people saw him walking and praising God; and they were taking note of him as being the one who used to sit at the Beautiful Gate of the temple to beg alms, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

God can heal. He heals the physical. Even more difficult is the healing of the heart and He does that as well. Through Christ, we are healed in mind and spirit. We may still bear outward infirmities, but we are given the power and the tools (Scripture, His Spirit) to be made whole. He takes broken lives, lives that have given up, lives that have been given up on and restores them. We have no choice but to go into His temple and praise Him. Rejoicing over Him who took us from our despair and brought us into His rest and His love. If we truly lived in this, lives would be different. Relationships would be easier because we would view those around us with the same eyes that we were viewed with by God. This should cause us to enter His temple with praises, but since we so often choose not to live in this manner, we seldom return to Him the praise that is due Him. It is easier to live in or brokenness, telling ourselves that we are, in fact, no broken at all. The more we tell ourselves that, the more we believe it. We find those “friends” who will feed into that lie and ignore the counsel of those friends (true friends) who will speak truth and the knowledge of His healing into our hearts. The world tells us it is ok to be broken. And it is, but that brokenness is no an end, as they would have you believe, but rather a jumping off point from which the healing can begin. Refusing to be open to the healing that is so necessary condemns us to a life of bitterness and often solitude, as we no longer trust those around us. In order to live a life that is open to healing, we must trust those around us to speak His truth into our hearts and minds. We must be continually in the Word, “continually devoting [ourselves] to prayer”, as it says over and over again of the disciples. This means even when we don’t feel like it. Even when we’ve slid back and aren’t feeling “whole” or “healed” at the present moment. Of all the ways to receive His words of healing and promise, I need to work on meditating on His Word. This tool of the Glory Questions is giving me the opportunity to do so. I just need to continue to grow in the discipline of doing it. The encouragement of those around me in Bible Study is a great help toward this end…or beginning, as it truly is.