Not As Strong

We are frail
We are fearfully and wonderfully made
Forged in the fires of human passion
Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
And with these our hells and our heavens
So few inches apart
We must be awfully small
And not as strong as we think we are

"Not As Strong As We Think We Are"
~Rich Mullins

This song came on this morning on my alarm clock and reminded me of the reality that I like to try to forget.

Food for Thought (Thanks, Blair)

“So when the devil throws your sins in your face and declares that you deserve death and hell, tell him this: "I admit that I deserve death and hell, what of it? For I know One who suffered and made satisfaction on my behalf. His name is Jesus Christ, Son of God, and where He is there I shall be also!”  -Martin Luther

Found at Wild & Precious

Thanks, Blair. I needed to read that today. I need to start posting more things that are inspiring me and challenging me!

Confessions

I hate having to ask for help. I always feel that now that I'm almost 32 {really? is my birthday really just over a week away?} that I should be able to take care of myself and my family. For the last week & a half, Ben & I have been down to one car. (Sometimes I really hate cars, but mostly just when they stop working.) Ben started his new job yesterday. {BIG YEAH!} But that job is in Tampa, which is almost an hour away. And he has to be at work at 6:45a. That means that I have to find a way to get to work and to get home from work on nights that he has class over in Tampa (like tonight). I'm having to ask friends for rides and it is killing me. I hate inconveniencing my friends. I even had to ask my boss today if I could borrow his truck next week while he is out of town so that I can make it in to work and take care of any errands for the office since I'm one of the few that will be in town for the week. I know that at the heart of it all it is because of pride.

Proverbs 29:23 ²³ One’s pride will bring him low,
but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.

And I feel like I am being brought low. It's affecting everything. My mood has been ornery at best. I find myself crying for the stupidest reasons. I've gotten angry at Ben for turning the car into a toolbox on wheels. I mean, seriously, where ELSE is he supposed to put his tools that he needs for work than in the vehicle that he is driving TO WORK. Work that he hasn't been able to go to for 7 weeks. I should be thrilled that the car is full of tools and that my husband is working. But no, I turn into Mrs. Snippy-pants and complain that I don't have a backseat.

Philippians 2:14-15 (ESV) ¹⁴ Do all things without grumbling or questioning, ¹⁵that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,

That one was one of our memory verses a few weeks ago. Talk about things coming back to bite you...

1 Peter 4:9 (ESV) ⁹ Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

I've done quite enough grumbling. I need to be thankful for my friends who have shown us their "hospitality without grumbling." I need to be able to admit my need for help. I am not self-sufficient.

2 Corinthians 3:4-5 (ESV) ⁴ Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. ⁵ Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God,

And so I have something to work on. Dependence. It isn't a dirty word. It is a beautiful word. And here I thought that I had gotten pretty good at the whole "dependence" thing as we dealt with Ben being without a job! But here we are. He's peeled back another layer of the onion and there is my sin stinking up the place again.

Would you pray for me? Pray that I will be able to work through whatever it is that is keeping me from depending. Pray that I will continue more and more to lean on Him. That I will be able to admit my needs. That I will not be stubborn and think that "I can handle this myself." Pray that I will let myself be blessed by my friends. That I will not deny them the opportunity to be a blessing.

Thank you, friends.

Color love

I have been trying to be a little more ambitious with regard to the design of our church newsletter. I don't want it to be something that looks bland and therefore is disregarded when it comes in the mail. In the past few issues, I've been looking to Design Seeds for inspiration.

These were the palettes that I used for the November Newsletter (available for download here:


{Autumn Gold}


{Color} Barked


Autumn Gold

Now I'm working on the December Newsletter and trying to figure out which way to take it. I need some color inspiration! I don't want to take it too "holiday," but I don't want to make it too "winter" just yet. Comment with some of your favorite color schemes (with links or color names) for the coming season. I'd love to find something that I can use!

Really, I'm still here

I promise. I am. I know that I haven't blogged in for.ev.er. I've been really crazy busy working on fabulous things like this and this for work. We (not as much me, but I've been helping with some of the admin stuff) have also been working on an App for Trinity and Community Bible Reading. {Available on Android right now and on iPhone soon!} We also just finished the October Newsletter!

In other news, Monday was Ben’s and my 2nd anniversary! {P.S. I hate trying to figure out the proper way to write that. I know that is the correct way, but it looks weird} Things are a little tight right now, as Ben hasn't had a job since the 23rd (*see below), so I tried to make an anniversary dinner at home for him. It didn't turn out so well. Thankfully, I knew that my parents were sending us some money for us to go out to dinner, so we did just that! Ben took me to Smokey Bones where we watched the Rays lose Game 3 of the ALDS. {Note: This is the other thing I've been spending time on - watching and cheering on my Rays!}

*Yeah, I forgot to mention that. The company that Ben was with since July didn't have enough work to support the employees, so they had to lay them off. It stinks, but God has been faithful in providing other opportunities for Ben to do small jobs (and some not-so-small jobs) here and there.

Moving on! My mom, my aunt Donna and I also went to The Barn for their Fall Opening on Saturday! The morning was absolutely gorgeous and when I left the house it was 57 degrees. In Florida. I know. We walked around and looked at beautiful things like this:


And when we got hungry, we stopped on The Back Porch for a little lunch.


It really was a fabulous day. I love getting the chance to hang out with my mom and my aunt.

And now comes the part where I say that I won't let it be a month before I post again. Really. I'll try really hard.