Monday, September 25, 2006

first day!

So, here I am. Today was my first day at my new job. I'm still here. I survived. I actually had a pretty good day. I learned a lot. Hopefully I'll remember some of it tomorrow. To end my happy first day of work, I cooked arroz con pollo and had a glass of sangria. It was wonderful. I danced around the kitchen to Frank Sinatra. I's cheesy, but I did. I think Sophie was laughing at me. Sophie is the dog that I'm watching. I'm staying at a friend's house while she and her husband are out of town. It's fun having "my own place" for a week. I have a great dog to keep me company, a big kitchen to cook in, not to mention that the fridge is covered in pictures and magnets of my favorite city! (It helps that they're from Franklin, I guess!) So, yeah. There aren't a whole lot of ways that this day could have gone better. Well, maybe I can think of a few, but not many. I promise to write more. I need to get into a good rhythm now that I'm truly a "working woman." Until next time...

Grace and Peace!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

in Christ alone...

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear of death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

By Keith Getty, Stuart Townsend

This has been my song today. It's not as if it's a new song to me, but for some reason it stood out today.I was listening to WOW this morning as I got ready for work and all I know is that I had to bring the CD with me in the car and listened to it on the way to work because I needed to keep it fresh in me. The bolded lyric above is something that we've been talking about in Refuge (college ministry) on Sunday nights and then discussed tonight in our Discipleship By Grace group (a.k.a. The Dirty Dozen) It is such a powerful thought, an overwhelming thought, a beautiful thought. And to think that it was done out of pure love. Not manipulative, human love, but pure sinless love. We are truly blessed.

I'm off to Daytona with the college group tomorrow. Tomorrow starts my vacation!!!! I'm a free woman for a little over a week!!! Today was my last day at Hallmark and I start at Shelby, Medina, and Stargel on the 25th. Alright, I'm off to pack so that I can get everything done in the morning before I leave!!

Grace & Peace!

Thursday, September 7, 2006

new beginnings...

So, I go up to Mitchell's to have lunch today and I run into my wonderful friend, Mo. She and I decided to eat lunch together and while we were doing that, I got a job!! That's right! This afternoon, I was offered the job that I interviewed for 2 weeks ago. I am soooo excited! Lunch was really good too. I'm really glad that we had a chance to sit and talk for a while. I think that we both needed it. I got some good reading in this afternoon too. I'm reading Seeing And Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper. Great book. Just wish that I could make it all sink in more.

Apparently, I'm not doing as well as I thought I was doing earlier this afternoon. My attitude sucks and I don't want it to. The thing is, I don't know how to separate myself from the problem. I've had LOTS of experience with this, so you think that I would know how to by now. But, I don't. Well, tomorrow is another day. It's my last Friday night at work, so that should be fun. I actually am only closing 2 more times. Weird. I'm going to go to bed now and try to think or not to think. I'm not sure which is best. I was going to write more from Piper and Chambers, but I'll have to elaborate more on that tomorrow.

Grace & Peace!

Wednesday, September 6, 2006

another day...another post...

So, what have we learned today? Not to smack your thumb on everything when it's infected? No, wait, we should have learned that one, but we didn't. I did learn that walking downtown is fun. Alison and I walked from our apartment all the way downtown to the street by Mitchell's and the church and then walked back via the lake. We laughed. We sang. No rain songs this time. It wasn't raining. We did try to come up with songs with the word Tennessee as we were walking down Tennessee St. I came up with "Rocky Top" thanks to Gretchen! Anyway...not too much in the way of excitement today. Still haven't heard anything on the job. I'm going to take care of that in the morning since I have the day off. Say some prayers for me! Hopefully, it will be a good day!! Until tomorrow!

For real! I'm keeping this thing updated, folks!

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

singin' in the rain...

I went for a walk in the rain tonight. I loved it. I'm not sure if Alison enjoyed it as much as I did. It's something that I've wanted to do for a while, but haven't done. Tonight was the night. It was wonderful. It was a pretty steady drizzle. We weren't out for very long, maybe 5-10 minutes, long enough to walk around the church parking lot cater-cornered to our apartment. I was singing and dancing in the rain. And yes, that was the song that I was singing. How can you not sing "Singin' In The Rain" when you are literally singing in the rain?! So, there I was, singing the song when I realized that I really couldn't sing all of it without feeling weird, considering the whole motive behind Gene Kelly's bursting into song. (For those who don't know, when he sings it, he has just left his new love and is so in the moment, he wanted to walk home to stay in the moment, eventhough it was raining. End of lesson.) This is where I noticed the difference. His mood made him sing in the rain. I needed to sing in rain to help change my mood. It made me realize that I want to be at that place where it doesn't matter what my mood is, I can sing and dance in the rain or in the sunshine, as long as I'm singing and dancing with joy in my whole being.

The last few days in My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers has been talking about sacrifice, letting go of blessings, and missionary existence. Of course he has been! Here I am, trying to see and know what my mission in life is, what His vision for my life is. And what is the sermon series that we just started entitled? Oh, right: "A Vision Worth Dying For." Vision. Mission. Sacrifice. Refocus. These are the words of change, words worth meditating on. Once again, I don't know what He's doing with me, but I know that He's doing something.

Monday, September 4, 2006

the right questions ( apology...)

So, my attitude needs some work. Yesterday's post was pitiful. That's all that can really be said about it. I can't take it back, because that's how I felt. I was feeling hurt and humiliated yesterday. Should I have let it affect me as much as I did? Of course, I shouldn't have. Did I? Of course, I did. I can chalk it up to being a girl, but it goes deeper than that. It goes even deeper to the root of being human and flawed. Tonight I read several of my friend Kate's blogs, The Accidental Traveler, which I highly recommend to all of you. She is very insightful! She inspired me. She wrote a series of 3 blogs titled:"Jesus, tell me what I want." If that doesn't describe where I am, I don't know what does.

Apparently, it takes my hopes being taken to a very high place where things are looking promising and having them dropped from the top of that building, sent plummeting to the ground, in order to get to me to take my focus off of those hopes. Does that mean that I shouldn't have those hopes? No. Does it mean that I place too much value, time, and effort on those hopes? Absolutely. Would my time be better spent on something greater and more global? Now we're catching on!

My cry, my "motto," if you will, needs to become "Jesus, tell me what I want." I don't know what it is. I'm not anywhere close to knowing what it is. I know that He has placed a job opportunity in front of me that is looking very promising and tomorrow night I will find out if I have the job. This is a step in the right direction for me. This would free up my nights and weekends. I would have more time to spend in fellowship, which, to me, is ministry. Anything beyond that is a mystery to me. I don't know what it is that He has in store for me. I don't know where He is going to take me. That scares me. This has been a year of changes for me. Big changes. Life-altering changes. I am not the same person that I was one year ago. I am not the same person that I was six months ago. It's been five months since I broke up with Reagan. Five months since I decided that I was going to make Lakeland my home. Now, I don't know if Lakeland will be my home. I plan to stay here as long as He would have me stay here, but I don't know how long that will be.

Everything is relative to His Will. I know that He has a ministry for me. I know that I am being equipped for that ministry now. I am so thankful to be starting "Discipleship By Grace" with Ted and Tricia and the other girls from church. That doesn't tell me what He has for me, though. I can't even begin to fathom what it would be. Will it involve my love for music? Will it involve my love for kids? Will it involve my desire to travel? These are the questions that fill my head. These are the questions that should be driving me to find the answers. Why do I let them get pushed aside by the other questions, such as: Who will I marry? When will I get married? When will I get to be a mother? Those are all great questions, but should not be placed ahead of: What is my purpose and ministry while here on this earth?

All I have now are questions. I need to read and sleep and think some more on this. Stay tuned, my friends. I plan to delve further into this mystery of mine.

Grace & Peace

Sunday, September 3, 2006

then again...

Ok, anyone else feeling like an idiot today? Just checking. I am. I'm sure it will pass, but right now, that's basically what it feels like. I'm just ready for a new day.