(dÄs'kÉ™n-tÄ›nt')
n.
1.
a. Absence of contentment; dissatisfaction.
b. A restless longing for better circumstances.
2. One who is discontented.
adj. Discontented
Ok, now I know what it means. Now to tackle the thing itself. I'll let you know how that's going. And now back to work...
Friday, February 29, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
love, love isn't always love the way that we mean...
Do you ever have those days when you can't stop thinking about something, even though you know that you really shouldn't be thinking about it? I've been like that a few weeks now. It always happens with me. I go to a friend's wedding and for weeks after I keep thinking about what my wedding will be like or if I will ever get to have a wedding. This last time has been the most interesting. Last weekend I was listening to a new CD that I bought with one of my Christmas giftcards (it has been on my list of CDs to buy for a few months now!) and the last song came on and all of a sudden I had one of those strange moments where you can see yourself. I was dancing at my wedding. I've never had a song that I thought "Hey, I want them to play this at my wedding reception!" I've thought of songs for pretty much every part of the ceremony, but never for my first dance. It was actually quite humorous because I was driving to my parent's house in Orlando when I was listening to it and I put the song on repeat so that I could hear it again and I actually missed my exit to their house. I've driven that road MANY times, but apparently, I was so enthralled with the song that I drove right past it!
I should totally be in bed right now, but I heard the song again as I was driving home tonight and I just can't get it out of my head. In my head I'm waltzing (well, sort of waltzing...the song has a waltz rhythm.) with my faceless Mr. Darcy and for some reason I just needed to write about it. I've needed to write for a while, but I just haven't. This is as good a time as any, I suppose. So, that's where I am. Somewhere between reality and a song and a hope.
I should totally be in bed right now, but I heard the song again as I was driving home tonight and I just can't get it out of my head. In my head I'm waltzing (well, sort of waltzing...the song has a waltz rhythm.) with my faceless Mr. Darcy and for some reason I just needed to write about it. I've needed to write for a while, but I just haven't. This is as good a time as any, I suppose. So, that's where I am. Somewhere between reality and a song and a hope.
Monday, October 29, 2007
finding strength...
In light of some recent discussions, I felt that I needed to revisit my "Now, Discover Your Strengths" book. I had taken the StrengthsFinder my senior year in college. I always remember my number one strength because, let's face it, anyone who knows me knows that I am an empathetic person. I can never remember the rest, though, so I thought I would try to see how these forgotten strengths play out in my life as well.
Of course, the flipside of our greatest strengths is the fact that they are often our greatest weaknesses as well. Yeah. Such fun. This is the other reason that I wanted to revisit them. To see where I am most vulnerable. Of course, it is really no surprise that, pretty much, all of my strengths are relational or at least play out in a more relational way. They are (with descriptions):
Empathy:
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament: this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
Developer:
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth, a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of "flow" where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments, invisible to some, are designs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
Adaptability:
You live in the moment. You don't see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn't mean that you don't have plans. You probably do. But his theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don't resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.
Connectedness:
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and our culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life's mysteries.
Intellection:
You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the "muscles" of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person's feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.
So, yeah. Basically that would mean that I feel other people's emotions as I'm seeing their potential in the unforeseen circumstances, realizing that there is a greater force behind it as I process all of it over and over again until every possible scenario has been played out. What the heck?!? No wonder I'm so exhausted all the time!
****UPDATE****
Since I wrote this on the plane last night, I bought "StrengthsFinder 2.0" and plan to retake the test to see if my strengths are still what they were 6 years ago. So, stay tuned folks. I'm determined to figure out this jumbled mess inside my head.
Of course, the flipside of our greatest strengths is the fact that they are often our greatest weaknesses as well. Yeah. Such fun. This is the other reason that I wanted to revisit them. To see where I am most vulnerable. Of course, it is really no surprise that, pretty much, all of my strengths are relational or at least play out in a more relational way. They are (with descriptions):
Empathy:
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament: this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
Developer:
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth, a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of "flow" where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments, invisible to some, are designs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
Adaptability:
You live in the moment. You don't see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn't mean that you don't have plans. You probably do. But his theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don't resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.
Connectedness:
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and our culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life's mysteries.
Intellection:
You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the "muscles" of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person's feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.
So, yeah. Basically that would mean that I feel other people's emotions as I'm seeing their potential in the unforeseen circumstances, realizing that there is a greater force behind it as I process all of it over and over again until every possible scenario has been played out. What the heck?!? No wonder I'm so exhausted all the time!
****UPDATE****
Since I wrote this on the plane last night, I bought "StrengthsFinder 2.0" and plan to retake the test to see if my strengths are still what they were 6 years ago. So, stay tuned folks. I'm determined to figure out this jumbled mess inside my head.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
the rabbit room
I do believe that I've found a new "essential blog" for my list. The Rabbit Room, is a site set up by Andrew Peterson (who, as you all know, is one of my favorite songwriters) and has contributions from a number of different friends, who are equally as talented. Dialogue in community is so important and too often we don't discuss things of beauty, such as art, literature, and music. This is a quote from the home page of The Rabbit Room:
Doesn't that make you want to read more? Good. Now go and do it!
(So I'm sassy. Deal with it.)
Our hope is that this Rabbit Room will likewise be a place for people who get the feeling that there's more truth and beauty around us than this world can contain. Windows on that truth and beauty are opened, sometimes quite by accident, by tale-spinners, world-makers, and bards.
Doesn't that make you want to read more? Good. Now go and do it!
(So I'm sassy. Deal with it.)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
on second glance... (or has anyone seen september?)
(Listening to: "Keep Breathing", Ingrid Michaelson)
Have you ever looked up and thought that you saw someone that you recognized? Someone that you haven't seen in a very long time, but you're certain that you know. I have. The stranger part is that I realized that she was me. I looked up and saw the me that is usually hiding somewhere deep inside. Somehow she worked her way out. I don't know how she did it, but I'm glad that she did. I have felt more me in the past few weeks than I have in the past few years. I'm dancing again. I laugh a lot. I have no problem being my silly, crazy self. I'm still processing it all, but I know that this is a good thing. I let her sleep for too long.
And yes, you heard me right: I'm dancing again. I've been swing dancing for the last month after almost a 7 year hiatus. My friend, Tom, mentioned that he had been going dancing and invited a bunch of us to go. That was at the end of August and I've been going ever since. I even competed in a Jack and Jill (when they pair you up with random partners) Jitterbug Competition on Sunday night at the weekly dance. (Yes, I know...I assure you that this really is Heather writing this) As if that wasn't enough, the weekend of October 5th-7th, I'm going to the Swing Dance USA Convention in St. Petersburg. In fact, the only reason that I'm not dancing tonight is because I was supposed to have Community Group. Unfortunately, I am sick and couldn't even get up the energy to do that. I have already decided that I will be better by Thursday night so that I can go. (Yes, I go approx. 3 times a week...why don't you?) Hopefully that will be the case.
So, I guess that's where September has gone in part. All I know is that it's now fall and that makes me smile. All I need now is for the trees to change and for the leaves to fall so that I can go sit and read in a pile of leaves. I suppose that I will have to wait until the end of the month when I go up to Greenville for Homecoming/Reunion weekend. That's right! Look out GC, here I come! Until then I'll just have to pretend that it's sweater weather by playing my "autumn albums" and burning my candles.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)