excitement on a friday night

It's Friday night and I'm sitting at Mitchell's coffeehouse reading and reflecting. Yeah, I know. I feel like I'm doing a lot of that lately. I've been learning a lot about contentment lately. (Yes, we're back to that again...) Real contentment. As in "...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." That kind of contentment. What I'm learning is that I am not. I do not focus on the things that I should be focusing on. It's no wonder that I can't find contentment. So that is my project for the week. For the rest of the month. For the rest of my life.

quirks

Stephanie tagged me to share 6 unspectacular quirks about myself:

1) I love the History Channel. I have been known to sit and watch shows like Cities of the Underworld and Surviving History for hours. Seriously.

2) I don't do well with music that is not in tune. For example, I cannot watch American Idol before they get to Hollywood. (And even then, sometimes...) I have this weird head tilt thing that happens, as if to say, "You're almost there...I know that you can get that note to not be flat!"

3) While we're on music, I can be listening to music and singing along with it, while typing something completely unrelated. Still don't know how I do that one.

4) When eating vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup (which I LOVE), I have to mix them up completely before I eat it.

5) I don't always like constraints. For example, I don't want to come up with a 6th quirk right now, so I'm not going to. HA. Take that!

the God who heals

(Women's Bible Study reflections based on the "Glory Questions": Meditating on God's Word to be Transformed from Glory to Glory)

Acts 3:1-10
Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the ninth hour, the hour of prayer. And a man who had been lame from his mother's womb was being carried along, whom they used to set down every day at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, in order to beg alms of those who were entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he began asking to receive alms. But Peter, along with John, fixed his gaze on him and said, "Look at us!" And he began to give them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, "I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene--walk!" And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened. With a leap he stood upright and began to walk; and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. And all the people saw him walking and praising God; and they were taking note of him as being the one who used to sit at the Beautiful Gate of the temple to beg alms, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

God can heal. He heals the physical. Even more difficult is the healing of the heart and He does that as well. Through Christ, we are healed in mind and spirit. We may still bear outward infirmities, but we are given the power and the tools (Scripture, His Spirit) to be made whole. He takes broken lives, lives that have given up, lives that have been given up on and restores them. We have no choice but to go into His temple and praise Him. Rejoicing over Him who took us from our despair and brought us into His rest and His love. If we truly lived in this, lives would be different. Relationships would be easier because we would view those around us with the same eyes that we were viewed with by God. This should cause us to enter His temple with praises, but since we so often choose not to live in this manner, we seldom return to Him the praise that is due Him. It is easier to live in or brokenness, telling ourselves that we are, in fact, no broken at all. The more we tell ourselves that, the more we believe it. We find those “friends” who will feed into that lie and ignore the counsel of those friends (true friends) who will speak truth and the knowledge of His healing into our hearts. The world tells us it is ok to be broken. And it is, but that brokenness is no an end, as they would have you believe, but rather a jumping off point from which the healing can begin. Refusing to be open to the healing that is so necessary condemns us to a life of bitterness and often solitude, as we no longer trust those around us. In order to live a life that is open to healing, we must trust those around us to speak His truth into our hearts and minds. We must be continually in the Word, “continually devoting [ourselves] to prayer”, as it says over and over again of the disciples. This means even when we don’t feel like it. Even when we’ve slid back and aren’t feeling “whole” or “healed” at the present moment. Of all the ways to receive His words of healing and promise, I need to work on meditating on His Word. This tool of the Glory Questions is giving me the opportunity to do so. I just need to continue to grow in the discipline of doing it. The encouragement of those around me in Bible Study is a great help toward this end…or beginning, as it truly is.

long overdue

Ok, 9 out of 10 friends would say that I a new blog is long overdue. (And the 10th one apparently doesn't realize that I HAVE a blog and that's the only reason that they don't think so.) And I would have to agree with them. Really? 4 months? Really? And these have probably been some of the most important months that I've had in many, many years! Seriously, Heather. WHAT have you been thinking?

Well, mostly I've just been busy! Busy doing what, you ask? Well, a large chunk of time has been spent driving back and forth from Brandon to hang out with my fabulous boyfriend, Ben. He's wonderful. We've been dating for a little over 3 months now. We met swing dancing back in May. (About a week before my last post, actually) Did I mention that he's wonderful? If you would like more information, you know where to find me. I've also been told that I needed to attach some pictures. So, I am attaching some pictures!

Our first Date (skirt courtesy of Patty Tidwell)

"Don't try this at home, folks"


From last weekend

And, in other news, I finally have a new computer. And yes, it is a Macbook, which means that it actually works. (Unlike my Dell, which no longer knows that it has a hard drive and took all of it's information to the grave with it.) This means that I should be able to post a bit more often!

This just in! Breaking news! (Did that sound exciting?) I also have a new job. I am now the receptionist at Trinity Presbyterian Church! Which means that I should probably get back to work.

catching up or "a distraction"

So, it's been a month since I've written, as some people have pointed out. This has been a good month though. I've taken steps, leaps, bounds, if you will. I've started going dancing again. Remind me again why I stopped? I know, I know...it was called gas money, but once I started again I don't really care as much. So, I don't eat out as much. That's better for me anyway. And dancing, what a better way to exercise! Sure, you get sweaty, but you get to look really cute doing it! Everyone would look at me like I was crazy if I wore a cute dress to go run the lake! (Ok, everyone can stop laughing now picturing me running the lake. And I don't even mean with a dress on. Just the thought of me running is enough to invoke laughter!) But really, it's a great time and I've missed it. And I've missed the people. Other than that, life is good. Busy, but good. I'm singing more, which I love. I've been practicing my guitar some, which is therapeutic. The discontent that was so overshadowing in months past is still there from time to time, but I’m not letting it rule me. That’s not what I was made for. So, there is an update, a window looking into my world, a distraction for those not wanting to study for finals (karis”skins”medina), and hopefully a glimpse of things to come. Until next time, friends…

Grace & Peace.

signs that might be omens...

"Dark and silent late last night, I think I might have heard the highway calling..."

Hmm...more thoughts to come...

Will

Sweetest child of God
Countless prayers are lifted up
For safety and peace


Listening to: Andrew Peterson - "Faith To Be Strong"

Give us faith to be strong
Father, we are so weak
Our bodies are fragile and weary
As we stagger and stumble to walk where you lead
Give us faith to be strong

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us peace when we're torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there's much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we're torn

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it's hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith, faith to be strong

the river wild...

Or not so wild. All I can say is that the river was so much stinkin' fun. My friends and I canoed the Wekiwa River today in Apopka and a good time was had by all. I only steered myself and my Lizzy Bennet into a few trees and even then, we're blaming that on the currents. (Yeah, that's it!) I am going to feel this tomorrow. 6:00 am will be here way too soon. I'm singing two services in the morning and then going to Orlando to see the family in the afternoon. Something tells me that tonight and tomorrow night I will be in bed extremely early. And I've just realized that I have something every night next week. Wow. So much for resting up for my week ahead!!

Anyway, Happy Easter to all. Enjoy the times with loved ones celebrating the resurrection of our Sovereign Lord!

Grace & Peace!

following up

Ok, so my last post was a little bit melancholy. I admit it. It happens sometimes. But here's the thing, there really isn't anything wrong with being discontent. It all depends on what your discontent is focused on. When I first wrote the post I was feeling a general discontent with my life as it is: still single, at that point not doing something that I really loved, not really doing much with music. Basically, I was having a pity party. (As Lindy would say, "complete with decorations and a cake") What I have come to realize after writing that and really meditating on it (and have meant to write for several weeks now) is that I should be discontent, but not with those things. I should be discontent with how I spend my time. I should be discontent with the way that I spend my money. I should be discontent with the way that I sometimes treat my friends.

A restless longing for better circumstances

That is how I should feel about those kinds of things. And so, I am now going to leave my apartment on this beautiful spring day and ride my bike (and not waste gas) and enjoy the gift that God has given me today.

Grace & Peace.

discontent

(dĭs'kən-těnt')
n.
1.
a. Absence of contentment; dissatisfaction.
b. A restless longing for better circumstances.
2. One who is discontented.

adj. Discontented

Ok, now I know what it means. Now to tackle the thing itself. I'll let you know how that's going. And now back to work...

love, love isn't always love the way that we mean...

Do you ever have those days when you can't stop thinking about something, even though you know that you really shouldn't be thinking about it? I've been like that a few weeks now. It always happens with me. I go to a friend's wedding and for weeks after I keep thinking about what my wedding will be like or if I will ever get to have a wedding. This last time has been the most interesting. Last weekend I was listening to a new CD that I bought with one of my Christmas giftcards (it has been on my list of CDs to buy for a few months now!) and the last song came on and all of a sudden I had one of those strange moments where you can see yourself. I was dancing at my wedding. I've never had a song that I thought "Hey, I want them to play this at my wedding reception!" I've thought of songs for pretty much every part of the ceremony, but never for my first dance. It was actually quite humorous because I was driving to my parent's house in Orlando when I was listening to it and I put the song on repeat so that I could hear it again and I actually missed my exit to their house. I've driven that road MANY times, but apparently, I was so enthralled with the song that I drove right past it!

I should totally be in bed right now, but I heard the song again as I was driving home tonight and I just can't get it out of my head. In my head I'm waltzing (well, sort of waltzing...the song has a waltz rhythm.) with my faceless Mr. Darcy and for some reason I just needed to write about it. I've needed to write for a while, but I just haven't. This is as good a time as any, I suppose. So, that's where I am. Somewhere between reality and a song and a hope.